The Doctor's Wife - RiverEleven One Shots
by thinole
Summary: A Collection of High-Quality River/Eleven (Doctor Song) One Shots. There is flirting, fluff, angst, hurt and comfort, drama, adventure and romance involved, and, obviously, quite a lot of spoilers :), have fun and enjoy and remember that I'm always open to requests and suggestions! (Rating is subject to change, I'm still working on some interesting One Shots) [BBC]
1. River's Injury

"Quick, get us out of here!"

With these words River Song stumbled against the console of the Doctor's TARDIS and immediately began pulling levers and changing the direction they were moving in. He hadn't seen her for several weeks, in fact, from his point of view, they had only met once since their wedding.

The Doctor had been travelling alone for quite a few months now that Amy and Rory had decided to live their boring domestic lives for a few years. He was just preparing to follow a distress signal from a spaceship in the 40th century, when all of a sudden, his wife had materialised in the TARDIS. The first thing crossing his mind was that she was even more beautiful when she was in a hurry, but before his thoughts drifted off too far, the Doctor slapped himself and stormed up to River.

"What is going on, what are you doing?"

He shouted over the deafening noises the blue box made as it was forced to abruptly change its destination. Before River could answer, the two were thrown against the railing by an unevenness in the Vortex. While his wife held on tight to the bar, the Doctor pulled the blue lever, stabilised and landed them as carefully as he could (which wasn't very careful, both of them were thrown off balance once again) and held out his hand to River to help her up.

"Hello, Sweetie"

She smiled, allowing him to pull her to her feet. As she got pulled into his open arms, and he held her tight, relishing in the feeling of a long overdue hug, he murmured into her soft curls:

"Now, what a refreshing surprise… but would you care to tell me what this was all about?"

A soft laugh.

"Oh, I don't know, really, it's all a bit of a blur. But I might have accidentally upset a genetically engineered super-dragon mom from Zethion, and she might also be quite able to follow my travelling to you through the Vortex, but I think we should be… safe here."

"Always in trouble, that's my girl"

He grinned, pleasantly surprised that she didn't immediately pull back, but remained leaning against him. He was still trying to form a coherent sentence in his head, wanting to ask her to stay with him for a while, when he noticed something else:

"River, you're trembling!"

No answer.

The Doctor grabbed his wife's shoulders and held her at arm's length, inspecting her carefully but not being able to make out any injury.

"Am I? Love, you're being absurd."

Her laugh sounded high and unnatural and her nervous eyes fluttered. It was only when she collapsed, and the Doctor had to fall to his knees to catch her unconscious body that he noticed there was something wet on his hand.

"Blood? Are you bleeding? River! River, answer me, damn it! River!"

The unmistakable tone of panic mixed into his voice as he frantically removed her jacket, uncovering the fine and very nearly unnoticeable puncture in her shoulder. The dragon must have hit her with a thorn of sorts whose venom was only now beginning to show its effects. Without hesitating for another moment, the Doctor reached up, pulling pincers from a drawer in the console without taking his eyes from his unconscious wife for even a second and very gingerly, trying his best to get his hands to stop shaking, pulled the thin, long thorn from River's wound.

He must have hurt her in some way, for in that very moment, she awoke with a pained gasp.

"Doctor, what- "

Her voice was still trembling, but her face had regained some of its natural rose colour.

"Hush, dear"

He said, pecking her lips quickly before helping her sit up and gently pushing a stray curl out of her face.

"You should rest now. Do you think you can walk? Come, I'll help you."

"I'm good, I don't need help, thank you"

She replied coldly but a bit too quickly. With a sigh, the Doctor lay his arm around River's waist and, supporting her while she slowly and somewhat uncoordinatedly stood up, led the way to his own bedroom.

"Honey, you will have to remain in bed for a while. I removed the thorn, but the venom is still in your system. If you want me to, I can bring us to Amy and Rory to ask your father for help, he is some sort of doctor after all."

Having tugged River in, the Doctor stood, but was prevented by strong fingers sneaking around his wrist.

"Doctor, what is wrong?"

River asked, voice determined and maybe even a bit concerned.

"What? No, nothing, where do you get the idea…?"

"You're avoiding eye contact, don't lie to me!"

She interrupted him, a bit more harshly than intended.

"Would you believe me if I said there wasn't anything wrong?"

"No."

"River…"

"Doctor, I know you better than anyone, sometimes even better than yourself – No, don't you shake your head! You can't deceive me, so you'd better tell me the truth now"

The Doctor knelt down beside the bed, covering his eyes with his hands for a second. Why did she always have to be like this? So… resolute? He couldn't deny that he liked her determination, yes, he even thought that she was incredibly hot when she was angry with him, but he also definitely didn't want her to worry about him, which she would undoubtedly do if she knew.

"River, it's just… well- "

He took a breath, then fixated her eyes with his.

"I'm sorry. I did exactly what you always said I should never do. I'm travelling alone."

With an exasperated sigh, River let her head fall back into the cushions, but the Doctor could see the worry behind the façade of annoyance in her face.

"You should have told me. How many times do I have to tell you, you can't go wandering about all alone, the guilt of eleven lifetimes on your shoulders and nobody there to redeem you in your own eyes? Doctor, I worry about you, I know you don't like it, but I want to help, and I can't if I don't know you need help"

"I just didn't want you to fuss… It's only temporary anyway, the Ponds decided to spend some _normal _time – terribly dull, if you ask me – but… River…"

The Doctor leant over her, taking her hand in both of his and kissing it affectionately.

"Melody Pond, you are the woman who married me. If you don't mind, there's nobody in the whole universe I would rather have by my side. Please, River – travel with me, just for a while!"

"Alright."

She whispered back, squeezing his hand and smiling up at him fondly.

"Anything for you, sweetie."

3


	2. Stick to the Plan

River Song ducked under a few laser shots, taking cover behind the remains of an old stone wall. Then, as she saw her perfect opportunity, she jumped out of her hiding place, fired a few well-aimed shots at the chitsuri and raced back towards the TARDIS that luckily wasn't parked too far away. The sounds of the chitsuri shooting at her followed her inside the blue box, but – as she took notice of relief – nothing penetrated the time machine's doors.

Quickly, River typed in the coordinates of her exact position but set the time to three and a half hours in the future. With perfect precision, she landed the TARDIS where and when she wanted to… 8.12 pm, that should do.

'Meet you in four hours outside the facility where I parked the TARDIS'

The Doctor had said to her as they had separated to go through wit hthe vague plans they had had – admittedly, not everything had worked out quite the way they had anticipated, but, taking in calculation the time it hat taken River to get back to the TARDIS without getting shot, the three hour travel into the future should fit in the Doctor's plan perfectly.

Expectantly, River glanced towards the now silent door. The chitsuri were long gone and the Doctor hopefully had succeeded in his plan and would turn up here any second now.

For a few moments, everything was quiet. River leaned back onto the console, still waiting for the doors to open, but after several minutes of nothingness that felt like an eternity to her, she began to grow restless. She moved towards the stairs leading down the console and sat down there, waiting for the Doctor's return, but as she continued to sit in the silence, she couldn't help the steadily growing worry inside of her.

After the first half hour, River considered taking the TARDIS to a point in the near future – fifteen minutes perhaps – to shorten her waiting, but the Doctor could return any moment and if he found his TARDIS gone… No. She had to stay and wait; her Doctor might need her help. He still was so young… but even though he didn't know who she was yet or just how closely they were connected, she was certain he knew he could trust her any time and with anything. She would certainly not let him down now, he would turn up in a few seconds anyway, minutes at the most, she really needn't worry, really _really _needn't.

River tried to calm her insecure and pounding heart and told herself over and over again that everything was fine, she was safe, the Doctor was safe and they would get out of this place soon, but somehow she couldn't seem to be able to convince herself of it.

"It's nearly midnight, where the hell were you?"

Seeing the fury and the rage on River's face over the just barely concealed worry and relief, the Doctor automatically raised his hands above his head in a yielding manner. An angry River Song – as he had learned the hard way – was a dangerous variable in the equation of his well-being.

"Sorry honey, I know I'm late…"

The Doctor only realised his next mistake when the curly-haired woman stormed towards him and examined his now exposed arms.

"Doctor, where did all these bruises come from?"

She asked, her voice dangerously low.

Hurriedly, he pulled back his arms, now he knew he was in trouble – she only ever refrained from calling him by an endearing title when she was deeply distressed by something. Nervously avoiding eye contact, the Doctor began to explain:

"Well, um… River, look, I'm sorry. I know this didn't quite work out the way…"

"We had a plan! You said we had a plan and I'm fairly sure it didn't involve you being in that damned building alone for six bloody hours and coming back bruised and, and… Why didn't you defend yourself? Why do you _never _defend yourself? You know what, you're going to carry a gun from now on, anywhere you go, and you'll learn how to use it!"

She shouted, the anger now predominant over the worry. The Doctor tried to take her hand gently to calm her down, but River jerked it away from his touch and turned on her heels, grabbing the bars surrounding the console instead.

"River, listen, please! Calm down, I'm sorry, I really am, just let me explain myself"

He pleaded, stepping closer to her again, but careful not to get too close as he truly felt no desire for some broken limbs right now.

When no reply came from the fuming woman in front of him, the Doctor assumed she was waiting for a comment on her demand that he should carry a gun.

"I couldn't, you know I couldn't. Even if I had a gun, I could never use it, I'd never hurt any other being, River."

He tried to reason with her, and she spun around, looking like an avenging angel in her anger – furious but surreally beautiful.

"Alright then"

She said, taking a deep breath to compose herself and crossing her arms before her chest. When she spoke again, her expression was blank, detached even.

"Then I can just never let you leave my sights again. I have a gun and I really don't mind shooting anything and anyone who tries to harm you."

River turned around and strutted off towards her room, the clicking of her heels the only sound in the TARDIS. Even as she felt the Doctor's eyes following her, River never even so much as looked back but instead went straight to her room, quickly changed into something more adventure-proof and tucked her gun into her belt, deliberately making sure it was clearly visible before returning to the console room.

Arguing with the Doctor was like arguing with a little child, but two could play at that game. She would not – she _could _not see him endangered or harmed just because of his stubbornness…

She was sure that some day his impossible moral compass would get them all killed, and she was determined that whatever happened, she would be at his side, offering the best protection she could.

Stepping back into the console room, River found the Doctor standing in the exact place and position she had left him in. He looked like a lost puppy, especially in this incarnation that was physically so unfortunately built with his extraordinarily long and uncoordinated limbs and his hair that kept falling into his eyes… He was _her _Doctor and as she cautiously advanced towards him, his eyes following her every movement, River felt the angry and strict expression she had tried to keep up fade into a softer and gentler one.

River stopped next to the Doctor and let herself sink down into a seating position on the stairs, her knees pulled to her chest.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the Doctor – her Doctor – silently mirroring her motions and coming to sit next to her.

"River?"

His soft and cautious voice just barely reached her ears and that guarded, vulnerable tone he only ever let her hear was enough for River's so carefully held back emotions to overflow and she took a shuddering deep breath, carefully leaning sideways until her head came to rest on his shoulder. When their arms came into contact, neither of them pulled back.

River only looked up when she felt the Doctor's fingers interlacing with hers.

"I suppose I shouldn't have reacted like that"

She admitted quietly, and the Doctor, knowing this was as close to an apology as he would get, smiled down at River,

"It's alright, Sweetie, it's alright, come here."

With that, he took her into her arms and she wrapped her arms around his middle as she allowed him to pull her close to his chest.

For a wonderful eternity, they stayed like that, her head resting on his chest so she could hear both his hearts pound and let herself be calmed down by the steady sound.

They both knew that sooner or later he would do something to upset her again and far too soon they would start to know less and less about one another until the days they both so feared would prove fatal to them, but right now, for the moment, everything was fine. They were together, nothing could come between them and they were able to just peacefully enjoy each other's company and the constant ridiculous banter between them.

For the moment, all was well.

3


	3. Bold move

**A/N: Hello there and thank you all very much for following this story and sticking around for the third part now! This one is set in Season 6ish and I hope you will all enjoy it... There is a second part to it stored on my PC, let me know if you want to read that as well, it might or might not include some M-rated scenes, so be warned :) But for now, enjoy Part I of "Bold move"! **

It was a rather useful physical advantage that Time Lords didn't need as much sleep as humans did – about two hours per night sufficed to supply them with enough energy for an entire day.

Consequently, the Doctor wasn't used to tiredness, he rather often simply stayed awake for days in a row, but now, after three whole days spent on adventures with River Song, he felt positively exhausted.

Getting back to the TARDIS after everything they had been through over the course of their trip (or whatever their originally intended trip had turned into), the two had unanimously agreed to get some rest, so now they were making their way down the corridor that led to the bedrooms.

As the Doctor stopped in the open doorway to his room, he awkwardly took River's hand to pull her into a good-night-hug.

"Sleep well, dear"

He murmured, letting go of her again, but taking notice of the sheepish smile that was spreading over her face, he furrowed his brows, wondering what she was up to now.

"You too, Sweetie"

River replied with a grin, and before the Doctor knew what she was doing, she had slipped past him through the doorway and as he spun around, he saw her throwing herself onto his bed. The Doctor blinked in confusion and nervously ran his hand through his hair. Had he missed something?

"River? What are you doing?"

He asked, attempting to hide his insecurity by crossing his arms before his chest and giving her an irritated look.

"Getting ready for bed, obviously"

She smiled and, without giving him the opportunity to protest, added:

"Oh, do close the door, Sweetie, and wipe that look off your face."

Stupefied, the Doctor did as she said, but as he turned back around and saw that River had started to undress herself, he quickly spun around to the door again, turning his back to the woman on his bed. He felt his face burning and was sure he had turned a crimson shade of red, so he buried his face in his hands, trying to hide his embarrassment.

River's high, clear laugh told him that he failed miserably.

"What's the matter, my love?"

She asked, and he knew she was smiling in that incredibly entrancing way without even having to look at her.

"You don't normally do… this"

The Doctor stated, waving his hand through the air behind him, generally indicating River sitting on his bed.

"And you're going to what – throw me out?"

She challenged him, and her bell-like laughter filled the room once more, expressing more clearly than any words could have what she thought of that.

"I would never"

He admitted with a smile. And, a moment of quiet chuckling and shuffling behind him later, River gently touched his shoulder and said:

"You can turn around now, my love."

Risking a glance behind, the Doctor noticed that she in fact had put on a tank top and shorts she apparently intended to sleep in.

"There seems to be an abundance of pet names tonight"

He remarked, smiling as River took his hand and led him to the bed.

"Are you complaining?"

"How could I, my dear?"

"Do you always sleep in your suspenders and your bow tie?"

"Do I – _what_?"

Looking down his body, the Doctor realised that she was right; although he had decided to let River drag him into whatever this was going to be, he hadn't dressed for bed yet.

Feeling his cheeks flush again, he quickly began undressing, before something made him stop.

"Aren't you going to turn around?"

His voice sounded ridiculously high and shy and he knew it but there was no way he could be calm and collected at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as River Song… The last time he had shared a bed with anyone must have been… A long time ago at any rate.

River rolled her eyes:

"I'd much rather watch the show, but if it makes you feel good – fine"

And to his relief, she really did turn her back without further discussion. As he finished dressing and went to turn off the lights, he shot River, who was just climbing under the covers, a somewhat insecure but nevertheless honest and affectionate smile and was rewarded with one of her open and loving looks and the flirtatious batting of eyelashes he so adored.

Most of the time, River Song was like a thunderstorm – unpredictable, wild and utterly devastating. But occasionally, in the rare quiet moments, when she let him see her calmer, more unhasty side, the Doctor felt immensely privileged that he alone was allowed access to the hearts of that confusing, complicated and completely and thoroughly gorgeous woman.

Without hesitation, he now slid into bed next to her. River secretly smiled at the way her Doctor's breath hitched as she snuggled up close to him, wrapping her arms around his middle and thus pressing their bodies together, but after a moment of being taken by surprise, he relaxed, draping one arm around River's waist and burying his other hand in her hair, holding the woman he cared for in that unique way close to his chest, relishing in her presence and proximity.

River in fact was rather enjoying this so shy and innocent version of her Doctor. But still she recalled a time when it used to be him who made the bold moves and drew her nearer to him, searching her touch in every situation and always watching her, not judging or observing, but simply watching her doing whatever she did.

As she now remembered the longing and the yearning she had always sensed in the way he had looked at her, River realised that now it was her who had to watch him slowly fade away from her, one step further every time they met, until that day when he wouldn't even recognise her anymore, that day that would inevitably prove fatal to her.

At that unsettling and disquieting thought, River instinctively pressed her body to the Doctor's even closer, almost strangling him with her arms. Was this the last time she would ever get to spend the night with the love of all her lives?

"River? Are you alright?"

She heard the Doctor's faint whisper and a familiar warm feeling trickled down her spine as her name left his lips. She would never get tired of hearing it roll over his tongue and letting it flood through her like waves at the sea… he had a so distinctly individual way of saying it, it often felt as though everything he longed to express but couldn't and everything he felt towards her was disclosed when he spoke her name and so, instead of replying to his question, River softly said _his_ name, that melodious word in the foreign tongue of Gallifrey he had so long ago entrusted her with.

The soft strokes with which he caressed her ahir told her that he understood.

For a long time there was silence and River almost thought he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke again, his voice a gentle murmur against her temple.

"I'm right here, River. And if it were up to me, I would stay right here beside you until the end of my days. Please believe me when I say that I love you – and when you meet my younger self and he – I treat you with any less than the respect and love you deserve, remember that this right here is how I truly feel about you and that I will always, _always _find a way to meet you again, in my older self, when I know all about you and could not bear to be separated from you for a single night."

He softly pressed his lips to her temple and at his kind words she had to suppress the trembling of her body. She didn't want him to know that she was crying. Crying for the lost time with him, crying for the curse of their opposing time streams that trapped them and crying for that horrible, horrible time that was coming for both of them. She didn't want to cry now, not on that night that might be her last with him.

"I love you, too."

She whispered back, moving one of her hands to his neck and gently pulling his head down to her until their lips met in an unhurried and thoroughly loving kiss. As River, unable to resist although she knew how _young _the Doctor was, pushed her tongue against his lips and rather harshly demanded entrance, all thoughts of misery and loneliness were forgotten.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading and please do let me know if you're interested in the more smutty part II ;) Leave a review and make my day!**


	4. It won't make the pain go away

**Hello everyone, so sorry for keeping you waiting for so long, exam weeks have been hell. Anyway, thank you all for staying with me, and now: on with the show! This one is post Angels take Manhattan for both River and the Doctor, enjoy and, if you could spare me a minute, I'd be glad to read a review from you!**

**PS: I'll soon create a separate story for the smutty sequels to the OneShots here, so don't worry, I haven't forgotten that you wanted to read those, too.**

River entered the bar swiftly, the sound of her clicking heels filling the now almost empty room. As soon as the door fell shut behind her, the young bartender approached her:

"Thank you so much for coming! I'm sorry for bothering you, but I didn't know who else to call."

She shot him a quick smile, replying:

"It's alright, dear."

River then proceeded to let her eyes wander around the bar until she spotted a familiar figure slumped against the counter.

"What has he been up to?"

She asked the bartender, worry now predominating her voice.

"The usual, singing sad songs, scaring away my other customers and drinking more than I thought was possible. We tied to convince him to go slowly, we always do, but he's persistent and once he's started, he never stops… I'm sorry, mam"

River nodded courtly and murmured a word of thanks before approaching the sad man at the bar. As she got closer, she could see the Doctor's legs trembling dangerously and his fingers blindly searching for the glass that sat before him on the counter. Quickly, River moved to stand beside her husband, pushing the drink out of his reach in the process.

As no reaction came from the Doctor, she placed a tender hand on his arm. Her Doctor jumped. He really hadn't even noticed anyone approaching him before he was touched.

"Hey,"

River murmured softly,

"…Don't you think it's time to go?"

If she was hoping for him to simply follow her, she was soon proven wrong as the Doctor shook off her hand and, gripping the counter tightly in order to remain standing upright, demanded:

"I need another drink, I don't need to go anywhere, who are you to talk to me like that, anyway?"

River sighed. She had never seen her love like this before… well, before he had lost her parents, his best friends, a few months ago. He had stopped travelling, a thing she would never have thought him capable of, and despite all her attempts to get him to look for a new companion, he had locked himself into his TARDIS, only ever leaving to go to that bar in the middle of nowhere and drown his brain in alcohol. River thought she had known him before, but over the course of these horrible weeks her image of what the Doctor would and would not do had changed immensely.

Tonight, he was so intoxicated he didn't even recognise her.

Doing her best to ignore the tears that were forming in her eyes at that thought, River moved up close to her Doctor again, reaching out once more to touch his shoulder.

"It won't make the pain go away, you know?"

She whispered because she feared if she spoke out aloud her choked voice would betray her tears.

"It can make everything go away."

The Doctor replied stubbornly, sobs shaking his entire body,

"You don't understand, you could never understand… my pain… my loss… my Ponds. They're gone and there's nobody left, and I'll never see them again…"

His body squirmed at the pain and sent him out of balance, stumbling sideways. Instinctively, River rushed after him, putting her arm around his waist to steady him against herself.

"I know, Doctor, but what's the use in you throwing away your life like that? They would never have wanted that, they would have wanted you to live to the fullest and do what you do… help other people and help yourself. Please, _please _come home with me!"

River pleaded, her free hand now lying on his cheek to wipe his tears away with her thumb.

"I'm not going anywhere"

He repeated, and then, trying to pull out of her grasp:

"And definitely not with you! Get your hands off me, I have a wife, you know?"

Rivers eyes burned, but despite herself, she laughed humourlessly at the absurdity of the situation.

"Oh, you do, don't you?"

"Yeah. Beautiful, great hair, amazing and really wonderful. So, you see, I'm not going home with strange women."

Again, he attempted to push her off, but she definitely was stronger than him in that intoxicated state.

"Then how about I take you to her instead?"

River murmured, ready to say anything necessary to get him out of that place and to the safety and comfort of the TARDIS.

"Yes. That would be nice"

He whispered, words a bit less slurred now than before,

"Take me to my River, take me home."

And finally, he allowed her to help him make his way to the door, her grip on his waist firm and protective and their steps slow and – because of his unsteady state – rather uncoordinated.

Eventually, River and the Doctor made it out the door without falling over one another and, as soon as they were alone out on the cold street, River used her vortex manipulator to transport them into the TARDIS console room.

The Doctor blinked, moving away from her a little, holding unto the railing for support.

"How did we get here so quickly? Have I missed something?"

River smiled sadly, knowing that this would be a long night,

"Hello, Sweetie."

"River?"

New tears started to form in his eyes and his apathic drunk state faded into complete and utter devastation and maybe a hint of relief and comfort as she nodded. The Doctor practically fell into her open arms, laying his head on her shoulder and sobbing into her neck freely while River buried her face in his shirt, trying to hide her tears.

None of the two could say how long they stayed like that, but at some point, the Doctor slid his shaking fingers into River's hair, relishing in the familiar feeling of it and gently massaging her scalp. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he knew that his love was sad, he could feel her silent tears soaking the fabric of his shirt.

"Hey, River…"

He murmured gently, his body swaying slightly as she leaned back to be able to look up at him.

"River, listen, I'm so sorry, I really am… please… would you -"

The Doctor stopped as he glanced the pained expression on her face before she masked it with a soft smile quickly.

"River, are you okay?"

He asked, his own pain completely forgotten at the thought that something could be hurting his dear wife.

"I'm good, Sweetie, don't worry about me. What do you want me to do?"

He hesitated for a moment, trying to remember what he had wanted to say, then he asked so quietly it was almost a whisper:

"I'm sorry if I'm being a bother to you, but would you mind staying here with me tonight?"

"For as long as you want."

She whispered back, an honest smile now taking over her beautiful features.

"I think what both of us need right now is sleep, so come along, sweetie"

River took the Doctor's hand, trusting his coordination enough now to hope that he wouldn't fall over on the way to the bedroom and, once they had entered, she closed the door behind them and opened up the wardrobe that always was reserved for her.

The Doctor, too, began to dress in his nightclothes. As River turned to change out of her shirt, he thought he noticed something on her arm, just out of the corner of his eye, but it could very easily have been a trick of his blurry vision, so he decided to ignore it.

The two of them crawled into the bed and under the covers and the Doctor rolled onto his side so he was facing River. Then, ever so gently, he took her left wrist and rolled up her sleeve. At first, she tried to pull back and stop him, but after he had pressed a reassuring – if somewhat sloppy – kiss to her temple, she stopped her resistance and let him proceed.

The Doctor held her wrist tenderly while inspecting her forearm, and, upon seeing the many scars running across it, let his fingers trace them as softly as he could, wanting nothing less than to hurt his dear wife.

"River"

He finally whispered, his name leaving his lips like a soft spring breeze stroking her senses, and she snapped, she couldn't take his kindness and affection anymore, not when she felt so broken and alone inside. Rather forcefully, she pulled her arm out of his grasp and close to her chest, hiding it from his pitying eyes.

Angry at herself for the tears she felt welling up again, she closed her eyes and shifted closer to the Doctor, hoping he wouldn't be able to see her face anymore.

"Hey, River, my love… it's alright, come here, dear."

With these gentle words, the Doctor lay his arms around his wife, pulled her to his chest and started stroking her back gently.

Locked tightly in their comforting embrace, the two eventually fell asleep, both seeking the familiarity and the consistency of their love and both relishing in the peace their union never ceased to hold for them. They were there for each other, as always. They were River and the Doctor, no matter what happened.

**I'm Always looking forward to Reviews... :)**


	5. Leave me and my ship alone

**Author's note: Well, hello y'all, I'm still alive! *waves* Thank you all so much for reading up to this part, I'm very glad some people actually care about what I write. Also, I'd like to encourage all of you to write quick Reviews, I'd love to hear about your opinions :) Now, to get on with the story, this one is set past the series 5 finale for the Doctor and later on for River, but you'll figure that out rather quickly. Enjoy!**

"Well, whoever taught you to fly the TARDIS did it wrong!"

The Doctor snapped in irritation as he ran around the console after River, pulling back every lever she pulled and undoing her every move.

"Sweetie, why can't you just…"

She began, but was soon interrupted by the Doctor:

"We're only ever getting anywhere because of my help, so no, I'm not going to let you fly her alone!"

This woman was impossible! Who did she think she was, turning up in his ship months after saving the universe from the threat of the Pandorica together with him and now simply assuming she had the right and the ability to take control of his TARDIS?

Finally, he backed River up against the console to stop her from doing any more harm. At least today she didn't constantly insist upon her superiority in flying his box and she didn't even react angrily or annoyedly to him stopping her this forcefully, either. Instead, as the Doctor stood before her, her legs pressed up against the cold metal of the TARDIS console, River smiled softly.

The Doctor tried to hide his confusion, but he was sure she could easily read it in his face; but River Song had allowed him to corner her bodily without breaking every bone in his body… he had thought she would always insist on retaining her dominance, but just this once, it seemed as if she let him take control of the situation willingly.

In fact, the Doctor noticed with a slight sliver of insecurity and possibly even uncomfortableness, they had been remaining in their so very unusual position for several moments now, and somewhere along that time, River must have moved her hands behind herself onto the console to support her weight, leaning back slightly and looking up at him from beneath her lashes.

The Doctor, unsure of what to make of this situation, studied River's expression intently, and as the woman in front of him smiled in that apparently innocent and still so painfully hopeful way, the Doctor's fingers moved up to brush against her cheek gently entirely out of their own accord. In response, River's hands left the console behind her, so she now was fully sitting on the metal, and sneaked up the Doctor's arms where they now lay firmly on his upper arms just below his shoulders.

Standing rather precariously in between River's legs now, the Doctor took all the courage left in him to lift his hands to her waist, in delight of the feeling of River's curves through the thin cotton of her shirt.

Inner doubts and warnings against getting in contact with this woman tried to rise to the surface within him, but as the Doctor was rewarded promptly with a happy quickening of River's breath, all negative thoughts were washed away, and he gulped as he realised her proximity had an… effect on him it definitely shouldn't.

River Song most of the time was a mystery to him, but as he now held her gaze so firmly, so intently, he knew that she was a mystery worth solving. He wanted to find out who she was, what she had done to end up in prison and, most of all, he wanted to find out what connected them so closely and what she truly felt for him – if she felt anything at all.

However, before he even had the chance to think of anything clever to say to her, one of the doors to the console room was thrown open and Amy rushed in, her husband following her on the heel. As the Ponds spotted River and the Doctor, they stopped dead in their tracks and Amy shouted over at them:

"For God's sake, can't you two put each other down?"

Turning a rather bright shade of red, the Doctor hurriedly stepped back from River and broke all physical contact between them and avoiding eye contact at all costs. River on the other hand laughed as she slid down the console and patted the stupefied Doctor on the shoulder lightly before skipping over to her friends.

"Hello Amy, Rory!"

She exclaimed, smiling brightly at them,

"I didn't know you two were on board!"

"Yeah, I noticed."

Amy replied, pretending to be grumpy, but then she laughed, too, and descended the stairs to hug River tightly.

"I missed you! How have you been?"

Amy inquired after River had properly greeted Rory, too. The Doctor, trying to hide his embarrassment from his friends, pretended to be very busy with flying the TARIDS to their destination.

"Oh, you know, prison food isn't the best, but otherwise I'm great!"

River smiled, then leaned in closer to Amy and whispered so quietly only she could hear:

"I've been on quite some adventures with the Doctor's older self… He's so much more relaxed and… touchy around me when he knows who I am – if you know what I mean."

River winked and placed a finger on her lips, mouthing 'Spoilers', before leaning back again and laughing at Amy's expression.

"How about you? Have the boys been keeping you in trouble?"

She quickly changed the subject before the red-haired woman could demand any more details.

Life of the TARDIS was rarely logical and _never _usual or in any way that what humans would describe as _normal_, but the Ponds had grown accustomed to that fact. They definitely didn't mind having River on board for a while, as they quickly assured the Doctor and so it was agreed that she was to spend some time in the blue police box with them.

As she left the shared kitchen that evening to go to her room, she grazed the Doctor's cheek with a chaste, feather-like kiss and even though both of them pretended it never happened, Amy could see the slight pink shade in her raggedy man's cheeks and the barely-suppressed smile he wore as he watched River skip out of the room happily.

Maybe, Amy thought, those two were finally beginning to admit their obvious affection to each other and maybe, just maybe, she'd soon be seeing more of River and the Doctor being together around the TARDIS.

**Reviews make me very happy**


	6. Drunk (a) River

**Author's note: Hi again, welcome to the sixth part! This time I tried something new, something I'm a bit insecure About, but I hope you'll like it! If you do, please let me know, that would be highly appreciated :) Anyway, this is set just after Let's Kill Hitler (6.8) for River and somewhere along series 7 for the Doctor, so he's the older one here. I hope you'll enjoy reading it!**

Stepping out of the TARDIS, the Doctor furrowed his brows. He was relatively sure these weren't the coordinates to the intergalactic festival he had intended to travel to… it looked like 21st or 22nd century Earth. As he shook his head and turned to get back into his TARDIS, the blue box hummed slightly in protest and the Doctor realised that it must have been her who had deliberately brought him to this particular time and place.

"What are we doing here, old girl?"

He murmured as he compliantly closed the doors behind him and began to explore his surroundings. It was night-time and apparently, he had landed in some city. Directly opposite of where his TARDIS was parked was a bar or a club of sorts from which the steady beating of a bass was heard. It was loud enough from where he stood and the Doctor truly didn't want to find out just how loud it must be inside the club, but a vague feeling told him that this was exactly the place the TARDIS wanted him to go to.

Sighing, he crossed the street and opened the heavy doors to the "Bloom Nightclub", as it said on the front, stepping into a deafening, hot, sweaty mess of flashing lights, dancing bodies and the ever-present smell of alcohol. The Doctor _hated _nightclubs.

Trying not to get run over by drunk dancers, he made his way along the stone wall of the club and ended up at the far end where a cocktail bar took up the backwall of the room. Still confused as to what he was supposed to be doing in this place, the Doctor looked about the room until he spotted a familiar mess of blond curls.

The woman in the tight green dress and the murderously high heels who was so unmistakably River sat at the bar with her back turned towards the Doctor.

Quickly, he strode over to her – she must have been the reason the TARDIS had brought him here, she _always_ was the reason. The Doctor had always suspected that his time machine had a special connection with his wife who he often lovingly called the child of the TARDIS.

"River, what are you doing here? Are you alright?"

The Doctor asked as he gently lay a hand on her shoulder and she turned around to him with glassy and somewhat unfocused eyes. She blinked several times before a pained smile of recognition spread over her face.

"Here you are"

She said and the Doctor couldn't help but notice a slight slur to her raspy voice. And another thing he hadn't observed before caught his attention: She was young. Very young. In fact, the Doctor realised, he hadn't seen her this young since her very first day with this face in Berlin.

River got up from the bar chair she had been sitting on and swayed slightly as though she were standing on a floating boat. Then, all of a sudden, as she attempted to take a step towards the Doctor, her circulation seemed to collapse, and she stumbled against him, reaching out towards him for support.

Worry etched onto his face, the Doctor took hold of her upper arms as she grasped his lapels, desperately trying to remain standing upright.

"River! Are you drunk?"

An unmistakable tone of panic had sneaked into the Doctor's voice as he carefully took his young wife's chin and inspected her dilated pupils more closely. Begrudgingly, she pulled her face from his fingers and as she looked away from him, the Doctor wasn't quite able to identify the expression on her features.

Gingerly, he stroked her upper arm with his thumb and at the motion, River jumped, almost as if she had forgotten that he was still holding her. She seemed vigilant and wary despite her unsteady state and the Doctor wondered whether in her timeline this was the first time that she saw him since Berlin, and whether she still knew nothing about him.

As she didn't appear to be willing to reply to his question, the Doctor asked:

"Where are we, from your point of view? When was the last time we met?"

For the fracture of a moment, River's eyes clouded over, and a clearly pained expression stole onto her face until she wiped it away again, quickly regaining her neutral and somewhat cold composure. It was these little things, like her inability to hide her true emotions, that told the Doctor just how early this was for her – the later River would never let anyone see behind her facade that easily.

"I've come from the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. Last time we met was – 1938."

She murmured and cast her gaze to the floor away from his at the last words. The Doctor had to lean in closely to understand her over the deafening music – if one could call it that – and as he pulled back slightly to be able to look at her properly again, he noticed a stranger watching the two of them from some distance, but he really had other things to worry about at the moment; he had to get River out of this place before she could consume any more alcohol.

"Hey, Honey, it's alright"

He tried to comfort her, taking her hand,

"The TARDIS is parked outside; do you think you can walk that far?"

Hesitantly, River followed the Doctor as he slowly led her through the club. In her distorted head, everything was spinning, and one thought toppled over another without ever giving her the chance to contemplate them. She hardly knew anything about this man – except for everything she had been taught as a little girl, except for all the information on how to kill him that had carefully been stored inside her head. Why should he trust her now? He knew she had tried to kill him, didn't he? Why would he come for her? How had he even found her when she had tried for months and months to contact him without success? At that thought, River felt the old familiar anger and disappointment and this horrible, horrible feeling of loneliness and rejection rising up inside her.

Without warning, a dancer suddenly collided with her, and the impact caused her to lose her unsteady balance and she fell, the strange dancer stumbling over her and tumbling as well. River felt her hand slide out of the Doctor's and she tried to grasp him again to keep herself from falling, but then her head hit the stone floor hard and she lost consciousness.

Within a second, the Doctor rushed to his young wife's side, kneeling down next to her, and pushing the drunk dancer who had landed partly on top of River off her.

"River? River, are you alright? Hey, can you hear me?"

But no reply came from the woman on the ground. The Doctor decided that he had definitely had enough of this horrible club now and so he lay one arm around River's shoulders and one under her knees and lifted her up, determined to use his thin bodies last resources to get her to safety.

River couldn't have been unconscious for more than a few seconds, but when she opened her eyes again, she found herself in the Doctor's arms, he was carrying her out of the nightclub. River's head hurt horribly, and she felt immensely intoxicated in the worst way possible – unable to focus, unable to walk on her own and unable to form just one coherent thought.

With great effort, the Doctor eventually made it back into his TARDIS where he – without seeing an alternative – carried River to his own room and very carefully placed her on his bed. As he, as gently as possible, lay the young woman's head on his pillow to ensure her comfort, he noticed that her eyelids fluttered and that she was at least partly awake.

"Hey"

He murmured, affectionately pushing a curl out of River's eyes. She tried to focus on the man who leaned above her, but as the pain shot through her head, she closed her eyes again, raising a hand to her throbbing forehead.

"Hey"

She whispered, feeling uncomfortable in her current position, knowing how much work and worry she must have caused him this day. River knew that in this situation, the Doctor held the upper hand and she was powerless, a feeling that always caused her to spiral out of control at a dangerous rate, a feeling she had never learned how to cope with, even years after she had broken free from her capturers with whom she had been since her earliest memory.

Trying to calm herself down, River blindly searched for his hand and as the Doctor took hers, she squeezed gently, letting him know it was okay, he was there now, she didn't have to be alone anymore, and letting him know that in some way she already trusted him, even without having been on adventures with him as she suspected she would later on in her time stream.

"Do you want me to bring you back to the Schism?"

The Doctor asked after a moment and her eyes flew open and, tearing her hand from his, she tried to sit up, only to collapse onto the bed again at the persistent pain in her head.

A confused look on his ever-young face, the Doctor reached out towards her, but River didn't allow him to speak first.

"That's it, you're just going to drop me off again? Play with me like a puppet and throw me aside when you get bored of me? No, Time-boy, that's not how I work. Why did you even come today? You never come when I need you, _never_!"

She spat, uncaring of the concerned glimmer in his eyes.

"River? What are you…?"

The Doctor began, but she interrupted him, unwilling to hear him plead his innocence now.

"Oh, don't you even start! You know exactly what I'm talking about. I thought you would visit – you _said _you would visit, and I needed you so often and you never came, not once!"

"Sweetie, why didn't you just call me?"

He replied calmly and his patronizing tone angered her even further.

"How could I call you? I don't even know how to contact you!"

She shouted and to her great annoyance, she noticed tears forming in her eyes. River Song hated crying and most of all she hated letting other people _see_ her crying.

"River- I'm so sorry, I really am, I didn't know you needed me! Wait a second – "

She opened her eyes again as she felt a rectangular case being placed in her hand – apparently, she really was in a rather bad state, she hadn't even noticed her eyes closing!

"This is a communicator, a very special communicator"

The Doctor explained quietly as River wrapped her fingers around the cold metal,

"Wherever and whenever you want, you can reach me with it, it is linked to my communicator only, so the second you send me a message, I will know it's from you and I will come and pick you up, and – this is important, River, and I want you to remember it very carefully: You call me any and every time you want and you _never _hesitate to ask for my help, alright? I couldn't bear you getting harmed or feeling unwell without me being there for you because you didn't want to bother me or something like that, do you understand? I am _always _there for you, all it takes is one short message from you and I'll be there."

River nodded to show her understanding and attempted to smile at this man who obviously cared so, _so _much about her.

"Thank you, Sweetie, I'll be in touch"

She replied, pocketing the communicator and she knew she spoke the truth. Even though she wasn't sure why, River knew that she did want to keep meeting the Doctor – her Doctor.

"Right- "

He cleared his throat, running a hand through his messy hair.

"You need rest, River, but you can't sleep in that."

With a nervous gesture, the Doctor indicated her tight party dress, before continuing:

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't find your nightclothes, but if you want, you can have this."

A slight blush to his cheeks, the Doctor handed her one of his own shirts and she took it, grinning involuntarily at the spoiler he had just allowed her – she would have some of her clothes stored here some day, some of her _night_clothes!

"How considerate, thanks, Sweetie"

She said, and, noticing his still very red cheeks, she added:

"I think I'll manage."

"Right. Alright then – good night, my dear"

The Doctor started making his way to the door but then turned around again, hesitantly leaning over River and placing a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Good night, my love"

River whispered in response, smiling inwardly at the way her Doctor's face lit up at the endearing title.

Determined to be there for his young wife when she woke up again, hopefully free from the alcohol's influence, the Doctor left his room and prepared the TARDIS for take-off.

He would prove to River that he could be trusted, and he would show her that he was always and completely his, whatever she did and however irresponsibly she acted. He would show her all his love for her, a forever starting right now.

**Every Review is appreciated, I do take criticism and I'd love to know what you thought of this part!**


	7. It's where my demons hide

**Author's note: This is the first fic I've written this month and I am very sorry, I still have several oneshots stored on my Computer, but they need proofreading. I'll get it done as soon as possible! Short note to this story: I have decided to write a rather angsty one this time, so be prepared. Also:**

**[WARNING] A mental issue warning applies to this oneshot, it's not too graphic, but if you are dealing with mental Health problems yourself or have any other reason to stay away from it, just skip this chapter, please. Stay safe.**

**As you may have noticed from the chapter title, this oneshot is inspired by the song 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons. The lyrics at the beginning belong to them.**

_I want to hide the truth_

_I want to shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

_No matter what we breed_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes _

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

He could tell something was different this time she came around.

During the ten months that had followed their wedding, Doctor River Song had visited her husband many and so many more times. He would appear in her cell at Stormcage and whisk her away for the night or she would break out, causing rampage enough for him to come to get her, and the two of them would run, plunging into adventure after adventure and finally, they would end up in their bedroom in the TARDIS, exhausted beyond imagination, but happy, oh so happy there, entangled in each other's arms.

But not this time.

River had materialised in the control room of the TARDIS while the old girl had been in the middle of the Time Vortex, which, frankly, shouldn't even be possible, but with a few alterations the Doctor had made to his wife's vortex manipulator – even as he went on and on rambling about it being 'cheap and nasty time travel' – River Song wasn't bound by the laws of time anymore.

From first sight the Doctor knew that something was bothering his young wife. She avoided his eyes, looking anywhere but at him, and when he had – rhetorically – asked whether she was in the mood for the exploration of a new alien planet, she had merely smiled sadly and replied that she'd prefer a night in.

And, because she was River Song and he was the Doctor, he had been unable to deny her anything – he would willingly give his life any time to make her happy, so a cosy night in the TARDIS definitely wouldn't hurt him.

So, the two of them had made themselves comfortable on the sofa, drinking tea and finding peace in the tales of their many adventures they told each other. Hours and hours passed with them just talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company, and, when River's head ended up in his lap and he gently thread his fingers through her curls while she told him about the first time she ever met the Sontarans, the Doctor almost succeeded in telling himself that everything was fine and that she was okay.

They went to bed late that night, River changing into the tank top and the shorts she usually slept in swiftly and disappearing beneath the covers before the Doctor had even come out of the enclosed bathroom.

She lay there watching him shuffle around the room, and when he finally joined her on the bed, she rolled onto her side facing him and pulled herself close to him with a sigh.

The Doctor's arm lay around her waist securely and River buried her face in the crook of his neck, trying desperately to find some comfort there that would distract her from the thunderstorm going on inside her. She ran her hand up and down her Doctor's back softly, telling herself over and over again that it was alright, that he was here with her, that he was not going to leave her, that she was okay and that she just had to calm down, but somehow the words in her own head sounded hollow and futile.

She shuddered slightly at the thought and, trying to clear her head and escape this horrible, horrible feeling, she pressed her lips to the Doctor's throat, feeling his doubled heartbeat flutter and then increase. River smiled against his skin and the Doctor trailed a tender finger down her cheek in response, lifting her chin so he could press a sweet kiss to her lips.

"River"

He sighed thoughtfully as he studied her face,

"How will I ever be able to make sense of you?"

She laughed at that, because both of them knew their lives were absurd, their timestreams were absurd and, probably most of all, their relationship was absurd. There was no sense to be found with the two of them – the centrum around which they rotated was that nothing made sense.

"You won't ever"

She replied softly, and then added, not without a certain lowered tone to her voice she knew drove him mad,

"And oh, you love it."

The Doctor pressed a kiss to her forehead in affirmation and pulled her body even closer to his, his legs tangling with hers and his arms holding her like she was the universe he had set off from Gallifrey to embrace all along.

This time, her sigh was one of content and peace as she slipped her arms around her Doctor's waist and closed her eyes.

Her Doctor.

Hers.

The Doctor awoke to a cold and empty bed. He seldom slept longer than River, so he was startled at her absence at first, before he noticed the sound of the shower coming from next door.

Sitting up against the head of the bed, he recalled the last night.

Had he been dreaming, or had he truly been woken up twice by River thrashing around in bed restlessly, shaken by nightmares seeping into her slumber? Nightmares were not a rarity with River, that he knew, but two in one night? That was worrying. He'd have to talk to her, make sure she was alright.

When the shower next door stopped, the Doctor got out of bed and softly knocked on the bathroom door.

"River?"

He called.

"Doctor. Come in."

Something was bothering him,_ something_ was off about her voice, but he was unable to put his finger on it. He entered to find her standing next to the shower, a towel wrapped around her trembling form. He had never seen someone's legs shaking so badly but somehow still holding them upright.

Worry overtaking his features, the Doctor rushed to his wife's side, lying his arm around her waist as she gladly leaned onto him for support. Holding her securely and making sure she didn't fall before she regained her balance, the Doctor scolded her gently:

"If you have problems with your circulation, you should sit down at the first indication and not wait until you collapse, dear!"

River lay a hand on his shoulder and blinked a few times until the dark spots had faded from her vision.

"Yes, well – I know, sorry."

She replied, but her voice was soft and shaky. Laying a tender hand on her cheek, the Doctor lifted River's face and waited until her hesitant eyes met his concerned ones.

"Are you alright now?"

He asked, pouring all the warmth his hearts held for this woman into the quiet words.

River nodded and smiled gratefully as the Doctor cautiously took a step away from her and handed her the clothes she had laid out for herself earlier.

Giving her some privacy he knew she would never ask for, the Doctor turned to leave the bathroom. The fact that she did not attempt to stop him or make a comment of innuendo showed the Doctor more than anything else that something was up with her. This was not the River he was used to, and he'd be damned if he didn't want to make sure she was perfectly safe and happy.

When River emerged from the bathroom, she was greeted by the Doctor sitting on the bed, two mugs of steaming tea in his hands. River was still shivering, but she tried to hide it by sitting down opposite of her husband, thanking him for the tea and warming her hands on the porcelain. But she knew she couldn't fool the Doctor when he'd set his mind onto something.

To his growing concern, River flinched when he placed a soft blanked around her shoulders.

"River- "

The Doctor began, unsure of how to phrase this. He took a deep breath, fixed his eyes on her features and studying her reaction closely, he continued:

"I know the symptoms of malnutrition. When was the last time you've eaten properly? And please be honest with me."

Her eyes shot up to meet his gaze, and for a long moment she merely stared at him, so many thoughts and emotions flooding through her that she didn't even know how to express one of them. But when the Doctor took a plate with two slices of buttered toast from the nightstand and placed it in front of her, River shifted involuntarily.

"I'm not hungry, Doctor."

She mumbled, putting down her tea and turning away from the Timelord.

"Tell me what's going on!"

He demanded suddenly, his voice harsher than he had intended.

"Doctor, it's nothing! I'm- "

"If you're going to say 'fine', I'll- "

He trailed off, not knowing what to say. Then, more softly, he continued:

"I'll know you're lying. River, please talk to me. I'm here to help, whatever it is."

"Yes, well, one day you won't."

Silence followed her sharp words, silence that stretched into eternity while the Doctor remembered that fateful day when he first met her and River dreading it. It was inevitable and they both knew it, but accepting it was hard.

He knew she wouldn't be able to accept it, knew she'd die in desperation and the heartbreak caused by lost love.

But he also knew that she'd lived with the knowledge of what was to come for a long time now, coping with it in various ways – mostly teasing him and driving him mad with spoilers – but this was new.

It seemed like the most un-River-like thing to do, but apparently, she had fallen onto that dangerous path anyway.

"You _need _to eat"

The Doctor insisted, gently but determined,

"Please, honey, I can't lose you."

_Not like this. Not now. Come on, River, stay strong for me now so you can die later._

How abominably screwed up their lives were… There were days when he himself couldn't bear it.

Was that what she was feeling like now?

What would he want her to do if he were in her position?

"Why do you care?"

She asked, but there was no edge to her tone. She sounded hollow and hopeless.

"Starving yourself won't make anything better."

"I'm not _starving_ myself, I'm merely getting rid of a few pounds you don't like anyway."

"Is this about me? How is this about me? River, are you out of your mind?"

Giving up on hoping she'd turn back around to him, the Doctor got up, walked around her and knelt down on the bed again in front of her, his knees touching hers, his hands taking hers and his gaze fixing hers sternly.

"River Song, I love everything about you. Damn it, I _married _you! Whatever you may think, never _ever_ believe that I don't love you. And, if you trust nothing else, trust your own body!"

Indicating her way too slender trembling form, he continued:

"I don't know how long you've been doing this, but it has to stop right now. You don't have any pounds to lose, River, you truly don't. Go on the way you are at the moment and you'll just break down and die from pure exhaustion and hunger in two weeks' time. And- "

There were tears stinging in his eyes now, threatening to fall onto their intertwined hands,

"And I won't have that, wife. I can't."

River practically lunged herself at him, then, falling into his arms, her own wrapping around his neck until she was lying on top of him. There was no telling whether she was comforting him or he was comforting her as their tears mixed and the Doctor's hands slid over her waist, realising with horror how lean her body truly was.

"River, I'm begging you – I'll help in every way I can, and we can go in small steps, but you will have to make an effort to get out of this. You are the strongest woman I know, and I am absolutely certain that you can beat that illness. Do you believe me?"

She lifted her head from his chest and met his eyes sincerely.

"I do."

"Together?"

"Together."

She agreed. Each of them took one slice of toast from the plate and he observed her closely as she took small bites, forcing herself to eat even as all her insecurities threatened to overwhelm her.

The Doctor was so old and had seen so many things, but eyes as deep and troubled as hers, he had never come across.

He took her hand reassuringly when he had finished his toast and she had not even eaten half of hers.

"You can do it. It's just one slice, you'll be fine, dear."

She nodded, and as she continued eating, the Doctor lifted her hand to his lips and trailed kisses along her palm and up her wrist.

"You mean the universe to me, River Song, never doubt that."

She finished the toast. She felt horrible and incredibly disgusting, but she finished it, and the smile she received from her Doctor was reward enough.

"I am so proud of you!"

"Thank you, Doctor, truly. I want to overcome it, I really do – but please have patience, this isn't my first attempt at getting back to normal, and I'm afraid it won't be my last."

"I know, my love, I know."

They still had a long way to go, but the foundation stone was laid and the Doctor was determined to be there for River as long as she needed him to recover.

He'd be there to help her battle her demons.

He'd be there.

**AN: Thank you so much for reading it, Reviews are appreciated!**

**Also, I have finally posted the smutty Doctor Song story I have promised you. It's called "Why River Song has Handcuffs" and you can find it on my profile. Mature readers only ;)**


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